Garden Dialogue

by

John Riminton

Peruvian Lily: What the hell are you doing here?

Chickweed:   What do you mean? I have as much right here as you.

P L: Absolutely not! I was put here by The Owner as I am beautiful and will be enjoyed by all who see me,

CW: I am a plant too and, depending on your definition of The Owner, I was also put here. Anyway, I make a very good ground cover.

P L: I don’t think that you appreciate the fact that, socially, you are a weed!! Nobody likes you, you are quite unacceptable in the Great Scheme of Things – at least, as defined by The Owner and you can certainly be sure that you are not acceptable to me.

CW: Tough luck! I was around long before someone set about breeding you and your ilk and I expect that I shall be around long after you have fallen out of favour. None of you high falutin’ ornamentals even begin to understand our role in the Great Scheme that you talk about. Bulbs like you just take and take from the soil whereas humble plants like us, when we are allowed to live our lives, go back and make sure that the Great Scheme is able to continue, but I expect that you don’t understand any of that.

P L: This is ridiculous. I am really not prepared to argue with the likes of you Privileged plants like us will always be looked after by The Owner, even if He has to bring in special things to do so. Anyway, you just make the place look untidy and He doesn’t like that.

CW: I admit, that is our great problem and I don’t know how to convince The Owner of our virtue. After all, we have striven and survived despite all His efforts to get rid of us – surely, He must see that we have evolved for a purpose and that our seeds will go on and on to make sure that purpose will be fulfilled some day.

P L: Sentimental clap-trap. Anyway, here is The Owner now.

CW: Oh, Ceres, a hoe………….!